Mon reve familier
by simplewin
Summary: What happens when a long gone acquaintance comes back to repoen scarred wounds? A Mabudachi Trio Fanfic. No special warnings. K just to be safe because of teh cusswords... please R
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. Don't make money out of this, please do not sue.

Hatori is one of the most intriguing members of the zodiac, but whoever knows what is going on in his head? This was supposed to be a one-shot dealing on one episode in the life of the dragon, and his relationship with the Mabudachi Trio. To my greatest surprise it does not seem to want to remain a one-shot and hopefully it will be a four-part story.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1

_Even though we may not get along, nor see eye-to-eye_

_That's alright_

_No doubt, that which you lack, I have_

_And that which I lack, you were born with_

_...I feel that your weaknesses and gentleness_

_Are so very noble._

Ayame Sohma

"Ha-saaan! Come on, don't be mean, just open the door."

Shigure. How is it that he always bothers me in my hour of work? Tssk. Doesn't he have anything else to do, any editor to torture or angsty teenager to hassle?

Let him knock, he'll eventually realize that the door is not locked if it's really important.

"Ha-saaan?" he tries seductively. "You know whaaat?"

I can sense a nascent headache at the back of my head. At least Ayame's drabble could be ignored, but Shigure had the nag to put you in excruciating pain whenever he opened his mouth.

How exasperating.

"Torhu-kuun sent me here to check on you, I swear, I swear! I need to make a detailed report on you and your health; otherwise the poor flower will worry and fade away under my poor helpless eyes!" Shigure sobbed dramatically.

There was no way I would get rid of him this time. He was on a roll, and not letting go. What a pain in the neck.

Fine.

Before I can think twice about it, I slide shoji door open and face Shigure, who looks at me like my opening the door was a miracle.

He can be such a moron sometimes.

"What now?" He seems to consider my inquiry like if it is a trick-question and his right eyebrow almost reaches his hairline.

How awkward. Yet again, Shigure is always awkward.

Finally he shakes his finger in front of me and proceeds to lecture me.

"Ittai! Ha-saan! How cold of you! You spend three weeks without giving news of you to anyone, and then you do as if nothing happened. And we were ALL worried over you, I mean Ayame was about to come in and break the door; you know how sensitive he is! You can't just do that you know...And Tohru-kun, ah, Tohru-kun! She is fragile you know, so fragile!" he gesture emphatically with large tear-filled eyes.

The full blown headache I can feel must have found a way to express itself on my face because Shigure's tirade suddenly dies out and when I open my eyes he is looking at me with his pocker face.

Damn him.

"Have not been sleeping, have you?" His question is said with a hint of worry, but something in his eyes is slightly accusatory.

"Ok, if that was what you had to say, Shigure, thanks and have a nice day."

I proceed to sliding the door shut, but it is stuck open. When I lower my eyes, I can see Shigure's foot on the doorway.

The headache just got strengthened a tenfold. I knew it was a bad idea to open the door in the first place.

"Shigure, I do not have time to chat with you right now. Late paperwork. You know very well that the flu season just ended, how do you suppose the formalities for you all will get filed, hm?"

I just wish he would leave already.

He broadens the doorway and casually makes his way in my office.

"Did you hear what I just said?" His nonchalance has always been nerve-racking.

He stops dead on his tracks. His back is turn on me, and I can't tell what he is thinking, but he seems to be hesitating.

Now, I'm irritated.

"What do you want, Shigure? Stop playing games and tell me already. You know, I appreciate your concern but now that you've checked on me, I would appreciate it even more if you would let me work."

He chuckles.

Wait a minute... he... _chuckles_?

Eh. What the heck, I can deal with him. Always have. He'll eventually get tired of this and leave on his own. Like usual.

I decide to go back to work, and to play the "ignore-the-fool" card.

As a cross him to reach my desk, I feel his hand on my arm. His eyes are lowered to the floor and all trace of aloofness is gone.

What am I saying? He looks dead serious.

"Hatori-san, I think you have not quite been yourself lately. Actually, the correct phrase would be that you have not quite been honest. Am I wrong?"

His pitch-black eyes seem to be drilling into mine. Crap. He could not have chosen a worse day for a sermon.

I feel so uneasy under his scrutinizing glare, and his grip on my arm is all but comforting.

Play dumb. That works. Occasionally.

"I don't know what you're talking about Shigure. Now let go." I tug my arm out of his clasp and proceed to my desk, unruffled. But when his hand falls heavily on my shoulder, I can feel a cringe forming on my face. Can't he just piss-off?

"Hatori-san, I am serious. We need to talk."

Who does he think he is? I talk when I want to, dammit!

I can feel my anger dangerously flaring to the surface. Shigure must feel it too, because he lifts his hand off my shoulder and his voice is driven with concern when he resumes speaking.

"Ha-san? You must tell me what is going on! Can you believe that the only way I have known you were alive those past three weeks where through Akito? Do you realize how insane this is?"

Insane, ha! Shigure has always known how to pick the right words. Why won't he just leave?

"Well, Shigure, now you know I am well, and you may leave. I need to work. I have had a load on my hands, and I am far from being finished. Greet Ayame and the kids for me, okay?" Even to my ears, my voice sounds strained a somehow dangerously low.

Maybe now, he will leave.

He does not, but he stays quiet for a while. I realize that I have been avoiding his eyes for almost the totality of your conversation, and it is getting more and more awkward to stand next to my best friend.

My best friend! Who would have thought?

It is my turn to chuckle this time, and I can sense Shigure tensing behind me. What a fool. He should understand more than anyone that I needed to be alone sometimes. I .. just needed some time. Just a little time...

My eyes are stinging, treacherous indication of a coming teary fit. Probably anger-induced. Damn. I have not cried since...Since...that time. But there is no point thinking of that now, not with Shigure looking.

"I will be back. Next time I call, you'd better pick up the phone." Shigure announces with an angry edge in his voice.

How dare he?

"Humph. You do that."

"What?"

"Nothing. Later."

He must have changed his mind because he does not move towards the door.

"What did you say?"

It's right there, right on the edge, the anger, the frustration, the pain.

"I said, nothing" If a glare could kill, he would have died on the spot. At this moment I almost wish he had.

Oh my God. What am I thinking?

He slowly approaches me, and I think that he must be at least as angry as I am. Good for him! I need to vent, and if Shigure wants to be a stubborn ass, then so be it.

Our eyes lock in a nervous silence.

"Are you smart-assing me?" he asks in a low growl.

"What if I was, he? What are you going to do? Bite me?"

Touché!

A dark veil crosses his eyes for a second, and he looks like he is holding up his breath. I sure know I am holding mine.

Just one push will be enough, just one push.

But he just sighs and looks away with sorrowful eyes. His naked voice is now full of concern and there is not a trace of anger when his eyes meet mine again.

"Hatori, I do not understand what is going on. I have been calling, emailing, knocking to your door everyday in the past two weeks, and have received no answer from you. Yet the maids tell me that you have not been leaving the office except to see Akito."

His hands suddenly grasp both my shoulders and he slightly shakes me, as if to force an explanation out of me.

"And now you just push me back! This is not you, Hatori, you need to let it go. Talk to me! Don't give me the 'I have work to do' speech, I copyrighted it!"

He's almost pleading.

Good old Shigure, always trying to placate everything and everyone. I almost pity him thinking about the amount of stress he must be under to lose his cool like that.

But now is not the time. He just pisses me off with his pleading! My throat is so tight I cannot answer for a couple of seconds, but when I finally find my voice back, I am surprised to hear that I am yelling.

"Enough already! Enough with your nonsense! You ask me what my problem is! None of your doggone business dammit! Stop pretending that you care because you sure as hell don't! Now get the hell out of my office!"

He stares back at me without a word, apparently dumbstruck.

Tell me about it, this must be the first time he sees me like that, and he seems at loss for words. If the situation was not already tensed, it would almost be laughable. If...

"Fine! You are not leaving? I am!"

Without a second glance, I grab a coat and storm out into the Sohma compound. As the car drives away from the compound, a quick glance at the mirror tells me that Shigure must still be in my office.

Idiot.

* * *

flashbask. _Three weeks ago._

_She was, for me, like "Spring"._

_Closed up in the darkness of the mainhouse_

_At some point, to me who'd ended up_

_becoming cold like the "snow"_

_She was so fresh and vivid a_

_"Spring"_

_It was as though it were inevitable_

_To fall in love._

Hatori Sohma

"Moshi moshi"

"Ha... I hope I am not interrupting anything, but... ano... may I speak to Sohma Hatori?"

Kana? On the phone? How did she get my number?

I need to stay calm.

Take a deep breath.

"Hai, Sohma Hatori desu. How can I help you" I say with my most composed voice. She sounds hesitant, but after a couple of seconds, she speaks again, with a resolute voice.

"Ano... You probably do not remember me, but... Ha, I am Kumatsu Kana, I used to be your assistant a couple of years ago..."

"Hai, I do remember you Kana, how are you doing? is everything okay?" She sounded so strained on the phone that I almost think that an 'accident' happened.

"Yes yes, I am alright." She giggles a bit. like if she was glad that I remembered her. "Ano, I was a little nervous to call you because I was not sure you would... never mind, I just had a favor to ask you, hm, if you are not too busy that is? "

A favor? Not good, not good at all.

"Anything in my reach; I would be glad to help"

Another relieved giggle.

If only she knew how every sound coming out of her mouth re-opened wounds in my heart that I thought had been healed for good.

"Hai, actually I was calling to announce you that I had a baby yesterday and..."

A baby? The rest of her sentence is somehow lost in a blur as I try to remember the time when Ayame gossiped to Shigure that Kana was pregnant.

Already nine months ago. I can't help but bite my lip.

"Ha, this is wonderful, Kumatsu-san. I am sorry, but there is some frizzle on the line, could you please repeat your sentence?"

"Ah... Sorry Sohma-sensei. But please, call me Kana."

Without taking her breath, she adds "I was saying, my husband and I were thinking of naming our little boy after you. I truly benefited so much during my internship in your cabinet and I was very grateful for the experience. I don't know how to thank you and I was thinking that maybe you'd like to be my first-born's godfather. If you agree of course." She said in one breath.

She was obviously anxious to have me accept.

I must have remained silent for a while, because she said tentatively.

"Sohma-sensei? Sohma-sensei?... Are you still here?"

Her voice pulled me out of the torpor I was in and I hung up the phone before it was too late.

So close.

I had been so close.

I get up from my table and pace around the desk to shake off the tension in my body. I just need to relax. Just a couple of moments.

Then I'll call her back.

When I feel calm enough to gather my thoughts in a coherent manner, I press the call back button on the phone on my desk and wait for someone to answer.

At the third tone, Kana's anxious voice picks up the phone, apparently distressed.

"Moshi moshi. Komatsu residence."

"Hello Kana, this is Sohma Hatori, we got interrupted in our conversation earlier..."

"Ha... Sohma-sensei. I am glad you called back. I was worried I had called at an inappropriate moment."

"Not at all, the communication is quite bad because the recent strong winds have destroyed some phone lines in the neighborhood, but it's alright. "

Truth is really overrated.

"About your proposition..."

"Hai..?" She asks her voice full of hope.

"I am sorry, but I must decline your offer to be your child's godfather. I am very honored though that you thought about me, but I do not think that I could be a good guidance for your child."

On the other end of the line, Kana let go a heartfelt sigh and did not even try to conceal her disappointment.

"I understand. I am sorry to have bothered you Sohma-sensei, really. Thank you for having considered my proposition." She hesitated. "Is it still okay if...?"

"Yes..? "

"Well, I know it's silly, but my husband and I would really like to name him Hatori, actually we kind of already have." She said with a sad edge in her voice. "Is it okay with you if he keeps your name?"

Kana's child bearing my name? Someone, please stop this.

"Sure, no problem, Kana-san. Please excuse me now. I need to take my leave of you.

"Oh yes, sure. Thank you again for listening to me. I know you're a busy man, and I am grateful that you considered my proposition."

"Don't mention it, Kana-san. Please accept my congratulations for your baby, and send my greetings to your husband."

"Hai, thank you. Sayonara Sohma-sensei."

"Sayonara Kana-san."

The click at the end of the line announces that she had hung the phone. For some reason, my hand won't let go of the phone receiver.

His godfather.

A soft chortle finds its way out of my throat.

A couple minutes go by, and I finally summon my hand to drop the phone receiver. Almost immediately, the phone rings.

The ID reads "SHIGURE (home)."

Shigure. What a coincidence. Or is it?

The answering machine picks up the call, and I hear Shigure blabbing some nonsense on the phone for fifteen minutes. How can he be so gregarious?

He has not hung up the phone for a minute that my cell phone starts ringing.

Shigure, again.

Just a minute.

I'll talk to him later.

I'll call him back.

I will do that first thing in the morning. But for the time being, I just need to sleep.

I pop up a tube of sleeping pills and swallow one.

That should do it.

_end flashback_

AN: The quotes at the beginning of the chapter are from Shadow's webpage. She's doing a great job and I hope it's okay for me to post it out here...

Anyhow...

Please read and review... It would make me so happy!


	2. Wretched be the fruit of thy womb

_Thank you to those who reviewed!_

_R Tom Mato:_

_Aww…My first reviewer! I can's believe you reviewed! Yeepie! You were my __first reviewer on a fic that I thought would get a better reception than it did! Thank you __so much! I kno I did not leave any email or nothing, but am glad you reviewed this story. It is not __half as good as your stories, but I am greatly honored that you reviewed! m The only reason I am getting back to this story is because you actually reviewed! Then I went back to the rough draft I had and now am ready to post. Thanks again!_

_Also, I stalked you up to your LJ account (yeah… bad, bad me ) and sonce it's kinda rude to leave an anonymous message I decided to let you know here that I love it. So hopefully you'll read this and know that I really __love "So much for my Happy Ending" and can't wait for future updates._

_Kyogirl1000_

_Yoohoo! You reviewed too! Thank you! Hehe. It seems that we were both connected at the same time! I __just reviewed your fic. Thanks for returning the favor:-D I hope you'll keep reading._

_A/N: As I said in the summary, this will be a Mabudachi-trio fanfic. Obviously more focused on Hatori than the others, but it is definitely not a Hatori-san fic. This chapter sums up the torture the two other friends endured during the time Ha-san played dead. Warning: A pretty nasty spoiler. Don't read if you are not up-to-date with Akito…_

_Ahem._

_Enough with the rambling, on to the ficcie. Enjoy._

_Diclaimer: Fruits Basket is not mine. Never was and never will be. The orignal series characters belong to Natsuki Takaya and Hakushensha (am I spelling that right?) Anyhow..._

_Edit: 03/06/05 I changed a couple of things for this chapter. Sorry if anyone is reading and expeting more... I promise I'll try harder to get something out before final's week... _

* * *

Mon reve familier, part II: _Wretched be the fruit of thy womb_

_ Shigure's POV  
_  
When the news came out that Kana was in the final weeks of her pregnancy, I knew it would be the beginning of troubled times. Ha-san did not seem to remember, and I recall thinking that it was probably for the best. After all, he did not need to remember his love for a woman he would never be allowed to cherish. Images of the only tears I have ever seen shed by the hassenchi come up to my mind with the sad realization that if Kana had been his Spring, her presence had been all too ephemeral.

In a way, it seems that Hatori's oblivion made everything worse. He had been busy at the Honke for a while; less because of Akito than due to the paperwork required in managing a very-private family practice. It appears now obvious that whether or not Hatori did burry himself consciously into his work, the nervous strain of this exertion left him unprepared for the shock of finding out that his soul mate was now experiencing the joy of motherhood without him in her life.

>

_Three weeks earlier. Shigure's POV  
_

She had called my house on a sunny afternoon, right when the sun started its final descent behind the horizon. It is strange how nature can fool us into thinking that everything is perfect when in fact it isn't. The kids were still at school, probably taking care of the homeroom chores. I was in the editing phase of a short story in which a particularly temperamental character was giving me trouble, and since the piece of work was not due for another month, I decided to go for a cigarette break, when the phone's shrill ring took me out of my reverie. I welcomed the call as it offered one more distraction to the project at hand. I had not been expecting Ayame's call, but who could ever expect Ayaa to do anything normal?

"Moshi moshi. Sohma Shigure speaking."

Instead of the snake's buoyant voice, Mayuko's slightly annoyed tone arose from the other end of the line. "Shigure, it's me, Mayu." she said briskly.

I always liked this woman. She was almost as fun to play with as Mitt-chan. Now, if I could just remember which buttons to push, this would turn out as a great conversation...

"Ha? Mayu-chan? Mayu as in Mayuko? My my, did you finally realize that we are meant for each other? I am glad to hear that my irresistible charm has finally thawed your icy heart! So tell me Mayu-rin, what took you so lo…?"

"Cut the crap Shigure. I am calling about Kana."

Spoilsport... Mayu-chan always knew how to shut me up.

"Kana? Ah. I see. So, the beautiful boy arrived, didn't he?"

"Yes. He came this yesterday. He's a beautiful four-pounder. You should see Kana, she's elated."

"Thank you for the invitation but I don't think that would be a good idea. Nevertheless, we're getting lost, dear Mayu-tin. I am guessing that you are not just calling to let me know of the good news."

She remains silent for a couple of seconds before she sighs and continues. Her voice is strained and it almost sounds as if it's taking her everything she's got not to hung up the phone.

"You're still the same Shigure. No, I am not calling you to _share_ the news. The truth is that Kana asked me for Hatori's phone number, and…" she hesitated.

"And…? What did you do, Mayuko-kajin?"

"What do you think? I gave it to her, obviously!" Her voice had a nervous edge in it that made me think that maybe this situation was stressing more people than I thought. Poor Mayu-chan, she's had to chose between her friend and her love after all. I guess she has had more than her share of worries. I did not even want to know where she got Hatori's number.

"Maa, don't worry Mayu-chin, there is nothing wrong in those two having a conversation after all. They are responsible adults you know. Don't worry and trust Gure-nichan, he can fix anything at all!"

"Stop giving me weird names Shigure! Can't you see this is serious! You said it yourself; Kana-chan and Hatori-san should not keep contact. They had a messy break-up and I am more worried about her than about him. He's the one who dumped her after all, the damn bastard! She did not even seem to know what had happened. You know, I don't think she ever really got over him."

Of course she did not know. Aya and I just told her that the both of them had fallen out of love and did not want to talk about their relationship anymore; she bought it and probably avoided mentioning Ha-san to her best friend until now.

"Don't worry Mayu-chan. I don't think it's bad. Just when did she ask you his phone number?"

"About a week ago. But I doubt she planned to use it until after the baby was born. And now that it is done…"

"You are not sure if you made the right decision, so you called papa-Gure…. Haaa! Youth!"

"That does it Shigure! I just wanted to let you know so it would not come as a surprise if Kana calls. But I see you are just stupid, insensitive and immature as ever! Goodb…"

"Mayuko-san. Thank you for calling."

The pause at the end of the line tells me that she's caught off-guard, before she stammers "Ha? Wha...?"

"Yes, thank you for your concern. You know, you really are a good person."

I can almost see her blush as she nervously blurts, "arg Shigure, cut the crap!" before hanging up the phone.

"Awww, Mayu-pin is so meaaan!" I want call her back to let her know how she's breaking my poor little heart, but I resist the temptation and decide that I need to get back to work. Surely nothing bad can happen on such a lovely evening. .

Half an hour later, Ryo-kun still did not know how to express his feelings for Yumiko-chan and I think he may be on strike for a while. Ah… what can you do about opinionated characters…?

>

Maybe I should give Ha-san a call.

* * *

_Later, Ayame's POV_

It's almost been a week since Hatori has not given any sign of life. Shigure called his office, and I went to visit him, a couple of times. He does not seem to be anywhere within reach. He's still alive though, as reported by Shigure who says he still attends to Akito, but she must be the only one to have seen him in days. The servants can't provide any kind of information, and Akito does not seem like the only thing she has to say is that his mutism is annoying. She doesn't look like she would be willing to help.  
By the end of the sixth day, I begin to be seriously worried. Shigure told me about Kana, and if Hatori was half as shocked as I was, he must be in a pretty bad shape right now. I really wish he would let us help him. His voicemail has reached its recording limit, he does not return my calls, and last time I went to his office, the place had a deadly aura that I thought Kana's memories had taken away with them. Obviously her darn baby had brought it back.

She even had the nerve to call the twerp like Tori-san. I probably should not be calling him that; he has nothing to do with this after all. Still… My poor Tori-san.

The last client of the day finally leaves the shop with a packet contently tucked under his arm. Minne-chan escorts him to the door and bids him farewell, before locking the door and getting ready for close-up. It's been a while since I actually met and helped a customer, but it's alright. Minne-chan is a capable person, without whom I am sure this place would have closed a long time ago.

A deep green fabric catches my attention at the far end of the shop. It is the same color as Hatori's eyes. The same eyes he almost lost when Akito...  
I must have zoned out because Minne-chan's hand flies before my face while she stares at me with a weird look.

"Oi, Tencho-san! Can you hear me?"

"HA HA HA! Always, Minne-chan; always! Why this strange question?"

Unsatisfied, she glares at me with concern "Tencho-san, you have not quite been yourself lately. Maybe you need a vacation."

"HA HA! Nonsense Minne-chan! A vendor must never rest! To infinity and beyond, I shall reach for the customers' satisfaction even if it is the last thing I do! This last client was a difficult one, ne? He could not decide between the Mermaid Secret Emerald Nurse costume and the Spring Cherry Blossom Maid one! If it is indubitable that he has good taste, being so irresolute is never a good thing when you are to make this kind of choice, ne? I would have been him, I would have taken both costumes and gotten over with it! What do you think Minne-chan? Brilliant idea, _n'est-ce pas_?"

"Sou ka…If you say so, Tencho-san" She smiles sadly and bids me goodnight before exiting through the back door.

I should try calling him one last time. Maybe he'll pick up the phone.

* * *

Spending the week-end alone was hard, but by the end of the second week I know I need to stay at Shigure's place in order to keep my sanity. Otherwise I know I might end up doing something stupid to Kana, her husband and their little twerp. All of them are scoundrels prying on my poor Tori-san! Why couldn't they just leave him alone? He was not asking for anything, just to be left alone. Nevertheless, that was too much with Miss I-am-too-happy-to-give-a-piss-about-other-people's-feelings. She had to point her face and ruin my poor Tori-san's life, yet again! 

I did not want to ask Shigure to live with him, considering how Yuki is still uncomfortable around me, but he is the one who made the proposition.

"_Ayaa, you know you can come live to my place. While we wait for Ha-san to show up." _

He must have sensed my distress and have decided that thinking that I might do something stupid, and I can't say that he was wrong. The day after, I brought a couple of personal items and installed myself.

_"Hahaha! Yuki! Your wonderfully dear brother decided to strengthen the links of our brotherly love by electing domicile here, next to your heart. Soon, we shall be inseparable! Oui Oui Toujours l'amour, toujours!"  
__  
_

Surprisingly enough, Yuki did not react to the tirade, and simply let me in without a word. Kyon-kichi was his usual hot-temperd self, but I guess some things never change. Sure, Yuki has not spoken to me ever since, but I suspect that he might have been slightly worried too.

_"Nisan? What are you doing here?  
"Yeah, what you doing here, you freak! And what is all that stuff? Where do you think this is all gonna fit you idiot!  
"Ma, ma Kyo-kun, don't be so rude to our guest... Ayaa... are you sure you needed all that?"  
_

Ah well, one can only dream.

Meanwhile, I still don't know what Hatori-san is doing.

xoxo 

Later that week, I was contemplating the dark sky from Shigure's patio when the shoji door slided open.

"Ayaa? Still not sleeping?"

"Ah? It's you Gure-kun. No, I have not quite been able to sleep lately. I think it's because Yuki-kun does not react too well to me sleeping in his room."

"Lousy liar, as usual. Here, drink this, it'll make you feel better." He shoves a hot cup of tea in my hands. The warmth from the cup feels good in my hands, since the night is chilly. Shigure and I have been going back and forth to the Honke to check on Ha-san, but no progress was made.

"Tea? My my, Gure-nii, you did not spike it to have unsolicited side-effects did you?"

He grins, and thenhas a mock shocked expression on his face and replies "Why, Ayaa, this hurts my feelings! You know I don't need anything but my irresistible charm, especially with you!"

"Always Shigure-nii!"

He grins mischievously and we both crack up silently in the night. Like in old times.

"All-right!"

We both chuckle, but the laughter quickly fades away as soon as we realize that something is missing to the tableau.

"It was funnier when Hatori-san was here, wasn't it?"

The sad edge in Shigure's whisper is so uncharacteristic of him that for one minute I think he knows something that I don't.

"Hai. I am worried Gure-san. Even when she left he did not shun us out of his life like that. What if…?"

"There are no 'if-s' Ayaa. None at all, you hear? Ha-san has always been one to like his privacy, and he might need it more than ever right now. He is not selfish enough to do anything stupid, don't worry so much."

"Mh. Are you convincing me, or yourself Gure-nii? Because it sounds to me that you are just as scared as I am. You are the one who made the tea, remember?"

A heavy silence dawns on us as neither seems to find the right words. My eyes wander to Shigure's, who have been staring at me for a while now with an awkward seriousness.

"Shigure, I don't want to lose him" I whisper weakly.

"No one does. Listen. If it can make you feel better, we are going to wait a couple more days. If by Thursday Hatori does not answer phone calls or answer the door, then we'll call the police."

"The what? We can't call the police! What would we tell them? That our friend, a respected member of the Sohma family has disappeared because his long-lost love, to whom he erased the memory long ago because of a family curse, has asked him to be her son's godfather! Come on Shigure, that's insane! What about Akito, and the family, and…?"

I don't realize I am getting louder until Shigure seizes me by the shoulders and whispers hoarsely, almost too softly for me to hear him "Calm down Ayaa, calm down. It's just a _suggestion_. I am sure Ha-san will show up before we have to resort to such drastic measures. Think of it as a back-up plan. You'll see that everything will turn out just fine."

The conviction in his voice, the confidence in his eyes, almost convince me that he is right. _He has to be right._

"Hai. You…You must be right Shigure-san. You're right."

Slowly, he unfastens his hold on my shoulders and leans forwards to a tight embrace. The concern I can feel in this simple gesture reminds me of how dependant I've become of my friends, and I return the hold, unsure at first.

"Don't worry Ayaa, he's going to be alright. You're going to be just alright."

For some reason, heavy, silent tears pour down my face as I hold him as tight as I can. As I feel the weight of the past weeks' sleep deprivation finally sinking in, I still don't know if they are tears of relief or utter fear.

_Yes, Hatori-san will be just alright_.

* * *

_Grieving has no schedule, no pattern or set pace,  
Everyone's grief is different but it's written on each face.  
The smile covers the ache that throbs within the chest.  
We see through a veil of sadness, from grief there is no rest.  
Tears on my pillow, crying in dreams, become our familiar friend.  
We're on a journey of healing, may we hear "Well done" in the end. _

_

* * *

_

A/N: So here it is minna-san. The second chapter of this story. The next chapter will also be the last, it will also be much longer than the others, because I still need to add a couple of stuff I wanted to add here, but they somehow did not seem to fit to the overall mood of the chapter.

Some explanations…

Shigure-san's teasing comes from Tsubasa RC character Fye who keeps calling people with honorifics that do not make sense just to annoy them. I thought Shigure was the kind of guy who would definitely do this kind of things… O I know it's annoying, it's made to be so. Lol

Unmarked spoilers on Akito. Sorry for the bummer, but I tried adding some 'explanation' on her sex but it broke the flow. It is already not terrible as is, so imagine how it would have been.

Also, I know Ayaa is not exactly the type to curse, but I figured he would if he was put under the right amount of pressure. He was lots of fun to write, even though I was really scared he would be harder to impersonate… he's so much fun! O

The colors of the outfits are completely imaginary (Did I really need to mention that?) but I figured Ayaa would be the kind of people to give weird names to colors.

The poem in the end is from Elizabeth Dent. The complete poem can be found on a website titled Broken Hearts, Living Hope. Please googl-ize it, because I can't post the link.

I hope you enjoyed! I am sorry if you did not... Flames with an ounce of criticism will be considered. Otherwise, I will use them to cook dinner... (told you I was poor... :p) runs away


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I don't know what I'm thinking finishing this fic four years after starting it. I'm obviously a different person from all this time ago, and to be honest, I don't expect anyone to read or care. But hey, I want to give this fic an ending, however crappy it might be, because I'm a Mabudachi fan and I think those three idiots are amazing.

I didn't have an ending for this fic when I started writing it, and I still don't have one. I think the kind of pain that Hatori went through with Kana can probably never be completely healed, and I don't think it would be fair to have an itty bitty fic make it all better, magically, so here goes my attempt at giving the Trio a happy ending. Forgive me if it doesn't meet most standards for so called happy ending.

---

Chapter 3: Closure.

Hatori cannot sleep. He stopped using sleeping pills a little while ago, right after he realized that they made him sleepwalk. He'd been rudely awakened by a maid in the middle of the kitchen at the wee hours of the morning three weeks ago. He had hated feeling groggy, disoriented, and more importantly he had hated the idea that he didn't have control of his body and mind. He chose to rely on bouts of sleep caught when his body simply crashed under exhaustion, rather than experience that ever again. He doesn't know how long it's been since Shigure and Ayame stopped calling or trying to visit him, and he feels guilty at the relief he feels about it. He loves his cousins, and they have been through enough in life that he doesn't feel ashamed to admit it in the privacy of his mind, but he cannot deal with them and he physically recoils at the idea of letting them take care of him, of reversing their roles so completely, of adding to this feeling of powerlessness that he cannot shake off ever since Kana called all time ago.

He gives up on sleep and proceeds to his office. He pulls out Akito's files and thick medical volumes to cross-reference her symptoms and determine a new course of treatment. He knows her illness is mostly psychosomatic and that Ren is the source of half her issues, but he needs to have _something_ to do, and he can't help hoping that maybe there will be a drug cocktail that will finally stabilize her frail psyche. In his current state of mind -he will not call it depression, no he won't- he thinks he's missing a few days and he knows he must have skipped a few consultations. He starts reading and scribbling in her file, and before he knows it, the first rays of the sun peek through the blinds and the soreness in his body is forcing him to stop.

He drops his pen; stares unseeingly at his notes. He thinks he needs to go attend to his most difficult patient; should go see her and see if anything has changed, if she's taking her medication; see if Ren is still creating trouble. He tiredly rubs at his eyes, stands, and the noise of his bones clacking while he stretches is familiar, expected. He neatly arranges Akito's folder and files it away. He cleans up his workspace and gathers the necessities for a quick shower.

_Another day. _He thinks wearily. He slides open the door to the rest of the compound, steps through the threshold, closes the door, and resolutely walks out.

The last thing he expects is to trip over a large cushy thing on the floor. He barely manages to find his balance before said cushy ground-located mass groans, and Shigure emerges from a bulk of blankets with the worst case of bed hair Hatori has ever seen. Shigure's glasses are askew on his nose and his hair is spiking in the most improbable directions while he blearily stares in the distance, still waking up. He lets out an annoyed groan, briefly glances up at Hatori, and makes a movement as if he's going to go back to sleep. Hatori still hasn't recovered from the shock and it seems as if Shigure's almost lying down when he startles in an undignified squawk and stares at Hatori's towering frame, a stricken expression on his face. He's shaking the unidentified mass of blankets at his side a second later, and Ayame rolls out of it, limp and still dead to the world. Shigure shakes him more hurriedly, calling his name without taking his eyes off of Hatori. When Ayame wakes and sits up, Hatori feels a ball in the back of his throat at his pale complexion, the redness in his cousin's eyes and the worry lines that have appeared around them. Ayame's awareness comes to him gradually, and he spends a few moments staring at Shigure, obviously trying to make sense of what's going on. When that fails, his stare goes to Hatori's closed door and a look of dejection settles on his face. The moment Ayame's face crumbles, Hatori makes the decision that Ayame should never have to look like that and for a split second he wants to walk to his friend and hold him, tell his cousin that whoever is making him feel this way is not worth it, until it dawns on him that _he _is the one that put this expression on his face. _He _is the one that caused Ayame's tears, his worry, his dejection.

Shigure finally grabs Ayame by the shoulders and physically turns him towards their cousin, words failing him. Ayame stares at Hatori, and stares, and stares until he thinks that maybe someone should say something. In the distance, the sounds of the Sohma compound waking up drift in, the muffled steps of residents down the halls quietly rising in the morning sun. Then, quick as lightning, Ayame is on his feet and Hatori's left jaw is on fire. He stares, stuck in shock, as Ayame's open palm high up to his right looks like it's getting lowered for a second slap, when Ayame starts shaking violently; his eyes fill and tears spill, unbidden, from his eyes. He's sobbing, undignified as he's ever been, and his chest is heaving as he keeps staring accusatory into Hatori, as if he could convey all his emotions through eye contact alone. Hatori's hand rises to his warm cheek, and he cannot believe that Ayame, the same Ayame who will walk on water if he told him it was possible, has raised a hand on him and is actually _standing in front of him_. He blinks, expecting the image to fade, but when his eyes open Ayame is still there, still _crying_, still shaking with anger and hurt. He can see Shigure, wide awake and standing right behind Ayame, looking at the both of them; he can see the mess of blankets, pillows, emptied snack bags and rumpled pieces of paper, and he suddenly knows that they've been waiting for him to come out of hiding for however many days he's lost since he last remembers stepping out of his quarters.

When he focuses on Ayame again, his cousin is talking. He's poised, raised to his full height and he exudes anger. His voice firm and loud, his lips are moving in sharp angry angles and his tongue sometimes swipes to the corner of his mouth to catch one of the tears that are still spilling. Hatori catches snatches of what he's saying, words, soundbites like _how could you_, like _weeks, Hatori, weeks!_, or even _not worth this_. Beginnings of empty threats of _if you ever pull as stunt like this again so help me God I will_-, but Hatori cannot put together the words into sentences. Cannot compute that Ayame is talking to him, is overloaded by his speech after _weeks _-can it really have been weeks already- with bare minimum human contact. Ayame reaches for his shoulders and Hatori thinks that he will hit him again but instead he finds himself engulfed in an embrace, Ayame's arms tightening around his shoulders and the back of his neck. His voice frantically whispering words_ -so scared, you had us so scared- _he still cannot understand.

He closes his eyes, the image of Kana, beautiful, smart, perfect Kana appears in his mind. She's smiling that soft smile that made his insides melt, happy and carefree, and he can feel her soft hand in his, and they are young and happy and in love. He remembers those moments of pure fear when she found out his secret, the seemingly endless gratitude he felt for her when she accepted, loved, him for who he was. He stands there in Ayame's embrace, remember the good times he had, the pure and honest moments and he tries to remember how to breathe, slowly. _Kana was beautiful, Kana was mine, Kana was the love of my life_, he thinks, careful to use the correct tense. He breathes in Ayame's familiar scent, the musky, earthy smell that is a mere echo of Ayame's usually aggressive perfumes. He thinks about the last time he saw her, of her tired, grateful smile after the intervention, of her guarded eyes every time he'd crossed paths with her afterwards. He thinks of the phone call, of her timid voice, of her gratitude, always that _damned gratitude_, and he thinks of Shigure, and Ayame, the weeks -_oh my god it's been weeks_- since he last saw them, of their silent makeshift camp outside his door. He thinks of Shigure's cautious stance, three feet away from him, of Ayame's strong hold on him. He thinks that's what it must feel like to be rescued, to feel loved in return.

Later, he will worry that returning his cousin's embrace may have seemed weak, that using him as a lifeline was not appropriate, that he should be strong enough. But that will come later. Right now he takes his friend, cousin, _brother_'s love and doesn't question it. Right now, he thinks that maybe it's OK to take comfort. To bask in the knowledge that Ayame won't let go, and that Shigure, the same Shigure that's presently leaning against his door, eyes raised to the sky and hands shoved out of sight, probably orchestrated this siege and was the rock their little trio could rely on while he himself was not up to the task.

Right now he thinks he's the luckiest man alive.

Right now he thinks that they will all be alright.

~fin~


End file.
